This thing was posted in February of ‘07? Man I’m getting behind the times. Possibly run down by them/it.
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Yeah, I bought one of these a couple days ago. Normally I’d go with a DQ Blizzard, mc chris style, but not that day. Friday I went with a Hot Fudge Sundae, fortunately (or, unfortunately) I didn’t order nuts. Now, I don’t know if the employees were just screwing around with me or if they failed Physics, but what I got was this: Yeah, the fudge at the bottom immediately created a hot moat of molten fudge and cream, rapidly weakening the foundations of my ice cream dick. I put it in my cup holder and jabbed the spoon into its pee hole, pretending I was driving stick back to the office. I had to get a picture for you, the loyal reader, no matter the personal cost. That fool was leaning like Pisa, but I managed to get back with only one cream droplet on my console. Anyway, you owe it to yourselves to read this: ^ True story. So they’re doing this world record thing for downloads. Lots of promoting and such through their community site (http://www.spreadfirefox.com/). One promotion is a certificate you can create stating that you (yes, you!) downloaded on Download Day, as it’s called. Original fan and all that. You could frame that thing, probably gain some cool points, maybe even increase your Fathers Day status by next year. To help get things started I decided to make a fun cert just for you! Annnnnnd here it is:
Whoops. I accidentally made an irony. I’d try again right now, but I’m afraid I’ll crash, again, and potentially have to log in here, again. I’d rather type a windy explanation than do that. Oh, I could use the IE I have open on the other screen, but I’m afraid that will crash worse. For what it’s worth, I did try a couple more times with the same result. I even submitted an error report, but it failed. It could be one of my plugins, or possibly the cruel hand of fate. This almost calls for some Crashin’ Thrashin’ Robots action, IE7 vs FF3. Who will open the page, and who gets their head popped off. Today is the third annual celebration of a TimeSyphon holiday. Timeless takes place each year on June 15th, hence my horrible double post. I say horrible because this double post comes on the heels of a post drought, yet I’m not explaining why. Odd? Lazy? Two parts awesomesauce and one part Spaghetti-O’s? Regardless, on with the show. How does one celebrate Timeless? It’s easy really, you simply present a friend or casual stranger with this picture:
You have living, breathing proof that you got laid at least once. Or you were used terribly in a manner which will haunt you for the rest of your life, possibly inflicting emotional trauma of an unimaginable scale on those you love. But, congratulations either way. Both are impressive. I have a gift for you. Words of wisdom from my inbox.
Feb
10
2008
 
Oh, Ruins.Posted by: TimeSyphon in oh ruins, tags: expression, language, oh ruins, ruins, ruinzThrough a convoluted quasi conversation online I have happened upon a phrase. Well, it’s not so much a phrase as a word. Also the word and phrase are two very different interpretations of the same thing. It went something like this: <begin paraphrase> Right. So I’m not positive what went on, but I’m pretty sure ruinz is the equivalent of crap/shit/oh noes/constipation. I’m being liberal on that last one. It also sounded a bit familiar, like some slang I may have seen on The Internets. TimeSyphon is officially adopting it. From this day (Well, that day, really) forward, we has a word. I mean, phrase. Ruins (roo-enz)
Jan
13
2008
Desktop Tower DefensePosted by: TimeSyphon in Video Games, tags: Desktop Tower Defense, flash, games, internet games, teh winThat’s right, have you played Desktop Tower Defense? Brilliant! Oh, I’m talking about this linky Addictive and enjoyable, like your mom (zing!) I don’t have a lot to say, you just need to play it really. If you’re interested, our group is “TimeSyphon” and you may enter that after entering your name to be included if you want to hang with the dorks. Well right now it’s just if you want to hang with me - but there may be others later!
Jan
06
2008
goatse Planet RUNPosted by: TimeSyphon in Ecology, tags: books, climate, Ecology, goatse, good causeSo I was walking through B&N the other day, putting on my serious face and pretending I know how to read. Felt upscale. It took approximately 1/10th of a second for this book cover to wreck my concentration and Amtrak me to a complete stop mid-aisle. With the power of goatse combined… I’m not sure a single thing made it into my head before thinking goatse. Seriously. Having become instantly amused I went and checked out what the book really was. Turns out I (possiby you, as well) missed last year’s record setting relay run that was to raise awareness for…go read it yourself right cha: http://blueplanetrun.org/ It’s a good cause, but I am convinced they would do better by making an alternate goatse version. Myself and those like me would impulse buy that. Good coffee table book, illustrates teamwork and grabs your attention. If you’re feeling particularly flush the proceeds from the above book go to helping provide drinking water to those in need. (see what I did there?) If you have more time than money spread some awareness, maybe a goatse photochop. If you can morph that circle of water somehow into a tubgirl reference I’ll be more impressed. I envision a group of people working together, paradoxically keeping the world together as they stretch the void. Heartwrenching. If nothing else this book nearly prevented me from mentioning what I saw on the way into B&N: a guy vacantly staring into the starry night rapping a staccato with his knuckles on the hood of a car. Wait, that was kind of sad. Not just a Gears of War Achievement! Apparently it’s also not just a copycat (homage?) BlackSite: Area 51 Achievement either! The TimeSyphon had its first user signup, Iolis. Probably thought he could sneak in. Anyway, in honor of this internet baby step, he is granted immunity from being called a noob for 1 year. December 4, 2008 shall see this grace period expire though. Maybe it’ll be a holiday, hell I dunno. Guess I should start posting stuff. I may or may not have mentioned that I like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Anyway, I like it like sugar. Tomorrow I’m mailing a copy back. Why, I pretend you ask? Oh, well lemme tell you. See, I enjoyed the multi player beta enough that I was willing to pay overnight shipping on the for troof game. This is against my religion, but I did it anyway. Long story slightly longer, last Tuesday saw me rip open my package little kid style to discover shiny golden…regular CoD4:MW. I ordered Collector’s. Thus I churned out an angry email and headed to the real life stores. First store (ebil Wally) didn’t have it at all, second didn’t have any non-pre-order but was willing to call around. They found me a store 40 minutes away that had one and would hold it, so off I drove. I get to said store to find they don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, who I am, or my daddy and what he does. Turns out the guy had called a DIFFERENT store 30 miniutes another direction. Woot. Well the store I’m at called me back out of the parking lot to say they’d sell me a pre-order that hadn’t been claimed yet, and assured me they would have more for that guy in the morning. I got all rosy cheeked and I’m pretty sure I felt some sort of emotion inside. I called the other store and explained what had gone down so the guy could sell the copy he was holding. All told I’ve spent too much gas (about an hour and a half driving), a stupid amount of potential play time, and a barrage of emails. But, I have some “I’m sorry” coupons and a refund on the way, and one of the most awesomest games. Evar. I could bitch about GameStop’s lame ass “3 more than we pre sold” stock policy, but enough other people already have. The employees were nice, at least. Since I’m a point whore I’m posting a banner for the Charlie Oscar Delta fan site. I should be playing, but you do what you have to do. Let’s do ‘dis. |
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